Tuesday, June 26, 2007

New Offspring Murder Club Member: Chris Benoit

Chris Benoit, WWE star, was recently found dead in his home along with his wife and 7 year old son.

The police have not officially revealed a motive, but here at Kill The Afterlife, we have a pretty good idea at what it was:

Pro wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife, suffocated his 7-year-old son and placed a Bible next to their bodies before hanging himself with a weight-machine pulley, authorities said Tuesday.

Now why in the world would Mr. Benoit place a Bible next to their bodies? Could it have anything to do with his belief in God, and the afterlife in particular?


In Chris Benoit's mind, he delivered two (or three if he counts himself) souls to paradise. In Chris Benoit's mind, placing the Bible next to those bodies was like raising the United States flag on the island of Iwo Jima. In Chris Benoit's mind, this is a victory for Christ.

Congratulations to Chris Benoit, the latest inductee into the world-famous Offspring Murder Club!

I wonder if the WWE is going to give him a golden belt for this Godly victory?

EDITED TO ADD: The WWE is declaring that Benoit recently tested clean for steroids (as of April 10, 2007), and that the murders appear to have been deliberate and planned, and not a case of "roid rage."


BEAST FCD said...

To think that Benoit was my favorite wrestler. Damn.

Anyway, I have just meme-tagged you. Check out my post at:



BlackSun said...

Beg wreslter dood kil fawmily wif bibble, then chok hisself wif waits.

(Darwin award for sure.)

Aaron Kinney said...


thanks for the tag, I will respond soon!


Eit wuz thoze durn devuls whut dun did eit! ;)

The Kym,

Hey thats a cool pic! Would you mind if I posted it on the main page of my blog? Of course I would attribute it to you. If you give me a URL for a site of yours I will link to it in the post as well! Whaddya say?

angelsdepart said...

Do you have friends, co-workers or even a spouse that are Christians? Be afraid, be very afraid!

Anonymous said...

Tested clean for steroids? The WWE is responsible for testing these guys? That's like Floyd Landis buying a home test kit and submitting the results to the tour director.

Anonymous said...

'Fraid I don't have a website, but you can use that pic as freely as you like, I trust you not to go around telling people "Oh yeah, I made that~"

Aaron Kinney said...


According to the WEE, it is an independently administered drug test.

Anonymous Atheist,

Thank you, but Ive already been tagged like 3 times over this same exact thing. I plan to have a post on it soon.

BlackSun said...

Aaron, you are TAGGED AGAIN

Ross said...

With all respect to the deceased and his family, lots of people have Bibles in their homes, and not necessarily always religious people. I'm not a WWE follower, so I did a search engine search using the phrases "Chris Benoit" and "Christian," and found nothing to indicate he had any religious beliefs. Are you sure about this?

Aaron Kinney said...


According to the police, the Bible was deliberately placed next to the bodies. Obviously it had some signifigance to the act.

What Im assuming is that he put it there because he believed that his wife and son went to heaven - an afterlife. Im not saying that God or Christianity were motivating factors in his decision to kill his family, but I AM saying that his belief in the afterlife probably helped him downplay the severity of his crime in his head.

This is because he didnt believe that killing his family would actually result in their consciousnesses no longer existing. He believed that they would merely exist in a different form. His afterlife belief allowed him to think that death didnt really equal nonexistance, but merely a transition to a different kind of existence.

The afterlife cheapens death, and prevents one from understanding the finality of it.