Friday, March 16, 2007

Another Demon-Child Slayer Joins The Offspring Murder Club

The end of the world must be near, because demon children are popping up all over the place. No matter how many are slain, their numbers still seem to be increasing.

Take, for example, our newest Offspring Murder Club member, Samara Spann, who recently plead guilty to first-degree murder. She cleverly deduced that her 6-year-old daughter, Kyeimah, was in fact a "demon," and quickly took corrective action. Samara drowned her demon-daughter in a bathtub and then decapitated her, dumping the body off a bridge. It was the only way she knew of to ensure the vanquishing of the hellchild:

Samara Spann reportedly told a Sacramento friend that she thought her daughter was a demon: "This friend told her that if the child in fact was a demon, that the mother needed to cut its head off."

In Washington, investigators recovered a blood stained carpet. In Sacramento, when confronted with that evidence, the same investigators say the mother confessed to cutting her own child's head off and then dumping it off a bridge.


Samara is a theist, but of a peculiar variety. Samara worships Tupac Shakur:

In court documents filed by Washington state prosecutors, investigators and family members allege Samara Spann was part of a Sacramento cult that worshipped deceased rap music artist Tupac Shakur.

A family friend who did not want to be identified said: "She has Tupac posters, Tupac everything. Like why does she like him so much? ... It was like an obsession."


Apparently Samara believed that Tupac Shakur was the reincarnation of some famous guy from long ago. Samara most definitely qualifies for senior membership in the Offspring Murder Club: Her sanity is in question, she worships a (deceased) alleged prophet, Tupac Shakur, who she believes is a reincarnation of someone else, she obviously believes in the afterlife, and she believes that her own children can be demons, or at least possessed by demons.

And the last thing that 6-year-old Kyeimah saw was her mother holding her underwater in a bathtub.

There are two possible scenarios in regards to the actions of the numerous Offspring Murder Club members. Either their children really are demons, in which case these killings were the proper thing to do, or these children were not demons and these infanticidal mothers were all simply suffering from a destructive and volatile mix of religion and insanity.

Morally, I prefer the former (believe it or not) if only because it would justify these violent killings. But the realist in me suspects the latter.

How long until the next underage soldier of Satan is discovered and dispatched? Nobody knows for sure, but you can be sure that Kill The Afterlife will continue to bring you the latest news in this kindergarten demon army onslaught.

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

This comment has nothing to do with this website. This msg will self-destruct as soon as you read it -- I hope.

Howdy.

Good to hear from you. Some thoughts on MS in a moment. But first: ask Hank if he got my recent email. If not, I may have to pass my thoughts on through you.

Ok, MS:

I don't know the coast well, but generally speaking the thing that fascinates me most can be found in most of the state (esp. around my hometown of Vicksburg). There's this truly bizarre feeling down there that the Civil War happened recently. (The last time I flew home, I saw the following bumper sticker in my first 10 minutes in MS: "Don't blame me. I voted for Jeff Davis.")My hometown is littered with cannons pointing down to the river, as though awaiting the next siege. (I actually thought as a child that the cannons were just left at the end of the war and never tidied up. In addition, growing up my WWII vet grandfather flew the Amerflag every day but one, July 4th, when his wife -- a longtime Vicksburgian -- made him take it down b/c the city surrended on 7/4 after a 47 day siege by Grant, during which time prissy antebellum women ate rats to avoid starvation.) In fact, the War may as well have happened just recently from an economic point of view. The place is poor, poor, poor -- mainly b/c it never found anything to do after emancipation. The fascinating thing about civil war museums in the South is that they suck! If this sh*t (including in my hometown an intact military gun- boat!) were in NYC or even DC, it would be the center of one of the country's premier museum complexes. Instead, the Vicksburg Court House Museum (where Jefferson Davis announced his Presidency bid) is underfunded, delapidated and solely operated by a distant relative of my family, a wonderful storyteller, Gordon Cotton (no sh*t!His last name's "Cotton!"). In short, the thing that makes the South worth visiting (at least, intellectually/historically) is also the thing that makes it not worth visiting (aka its economic devastation). Vicksburg has a huge park w/ some of the most impressive monuments outside DC. (Look online for "Illinois Monument" -- You won't believe this huge pantheon-thingamajig is in the middle of my rinkadink hometown.) I can give you more specifics, if Vburg seems like an intriguing destination (including address for a "redemption grocery store" built by a poor black evangelist/self-taught artist on the edge of town).

Did I tell you the Clara rat Xmas story? In a nutshell, the Cabbage Patch Doll her great-grandmother gave her terrified her so much she was inconsolable. Finally, we discovered the only thing that would calm her was a huge plastic rat that she hugged, petted, and kissed, saying: "Nice kitty."

What's happening there? (Other than internet threats -- Hey man,I read the Flyer!) Give all (who want it) my howdies.

Best,
hp

Anonymous said...

"There are two possible scenarios in regards to the actions of the numerous Offspring Murder Club members. Either their children really are demons, in which case these killings were the proper thing to do, or these children were not demons and these infanticidal mothers were all simply suffering from a destructive and volatile mix of religion and insanity."

Actually, this is a false dichotomy. Depending on the truth of this "demon" stuff it is still possible that vigilante justice is wrong and therefore the killings are still wrong. This is like saying "If you see someone steal something you are justified to lock him in your basement for 3 months or however long you think fit."

It is possible that the child was a demon and that the mother was wrong for killing the demon-child for not following due process.

P.S. There are also myriads of other possibilities... but I guess those don't make your false dilemma's of "religion bad... atheism good" look so hot?

Krystalline Apostate said...

So they believe that Tupur was the reincarnation of Machiavelli? WTF? Are you SURE this isn't some kind of joke? Machiavelli? I'd be surprised if 30% of the under-30 age population of the US even KNOWS who Machiavelli was.
As to those 2 last anonymous posters: how is it you always attract the stoners, Aaron?

Aaron Kinney said...

Anonymous #2,

Actually, this is a false dichotomy. Depending on the truth of this "demon" stuff it is still possible that vigilante justice is wrong and therefore the killings are still wrong.

LOL! But first you would have to differentiate between vigilante justice and not-vigilante-justice. I do not believe that such a distinction exists. In other words, the "vigilante" aspect is imaginary.

This is like saying "If you see someone steal something you are justified to lock him in your basement for 3 months or however long you think fit."

No that is not a proper analogy at all. Youll have to try a lot harder than that to find a proper analogous entity to a DEMON!

It is possible that the child was a demon and that the mother was wrong for killing the demon-child for not following due process.

You beg the question of due process itself. What is due process and how is it justified and how is the mothers actions not due process anyway?

Also, do demons deserve this "due process" that you speak of?

P.S. There are also myriads of other possibilities...

Yes, the ability to insert your bullshit into this situation is endless...

but I guess those don't make your false dilemma's of "religion bad... atheism good" look so hot?

Spoken like a true moral relativist. I can only imagine the hilarity of you asking yourself these same questions while an assailant attacked you.

Aaron Kinney said...

KA,

Yes, Im afraid it is real. Also, with all due respect, it appears that you do not fully appreciate the godlike status that Tupac has among certain segments of society.

And yes, I seem to be attracting the stoners quite a bit nowadays. Maybe because of some funny blog somewhere that links to me or soemthing? Im not sure....

Frank Walton said...

Demon children? Maybe if they were naked it'd make you happier, Kinneypoo.

breakerslion said...

What the F is wrong with these people? You can't just go around killing demons, it sets them free to infest other innocent children! Don't these people read their own bullshit mythology? Everybody knows that demons need to be exorcised, then freeze-dried and sealed in a cylinder of Kryptonite. I blame Michael Landon, or that dizzy black broad that did the show with the whackjob Irish broad. Why? Why not. If you're going to recycle the magical god/devil minion meme, you should at least not re-write the fiction.

I dunno Aaron, maybe it's the season, or maybe there's just some impromptu stoner contest. Try as I might, I can't top Frank Walton. He gets my vote for winner.

Frank Walton said...

See here and you'll know what I mean, breakyourlion.

Aaron Kinney said...

Oh come on, Frank. I know you dont seriously think that, and that you are just trying to pigeonhole me and make me look bad. I already explained myself in the following comment on your blog. And if not, then you are crazier than I thought.

Im assuming, of course, that you approved my second comment. I know you tend to deny my comments from time to time.

Aaron Kinney said...

I see that you denied my second comment, Frank. I sent you an email. Please read it and reply to me.

Frank Walton said...

Aaron,

Oh come on, Frank. I know you dont seriously think that, and that you are just trying to pigeonhole me and make me look bad.

Oh, what irony.

I already explained myself in the following comment on your blog. And if not, then you are crazier than I thought.

I'm just having fun with you, dude.

Im assuming, of course, that you approved my second comment.

No, I didn't.

I know you tend to deny my comments from time to time.

*SHRUGS* Well... yeah. Because you're only at my blog to goof off. Follow the rules, dude.

I see that you denied my second comment, Frank.

Yup.

I sent you an email. Please read it and reply to me.

Why? I just glanced over it by the way.

Look, the main reason I didn't allow your comments was just to piss you off and to teach you a lesson. You constantly make glib remarks in my blog. When you were finally caught on the hop you did all you can to unscrew your screw up. And seeing you go nutts about is quite hilarious :o)

Do I think you're a pedophile? No. But one things for sure you don't find naked boys nearly as sickening as naked girls? Why is that? If a little 13 year old was strutting around topless like a slut wouldn't that bother you? And seeing how you're a radical libertarian wouldn't you have a problem with a 60 year old marrying a 2 year old? Get real.

Frank

Anonymous said...

Aaron,
Sorry I let this slide.... I forgot all about this website after I posted the comment.

You state, "LOL! But first you would have to differentiate between vigilante justice and not-vigilante-justice. I do not believe that such a distinction exists. In other words, the "vigilante" aspect is imaginary."

Vigilante justice is when someone goes outside of their respective legal system and acts as their own private legislature and judiciary. Non-vigilante justice is when the person in question of violation is subjected to the established legal system. How's that for a distinction?

"No that is not a proper analogy at all. Youll have to try a lot harder than that to find a proper analogous entity to a DEMON!"

Are you begging the question that Demons should not be subject to the same penal system as people? Aaron, let me ask you, what is the point of these posts? Are you trying to make Demon-slaying people look foolish? You post some crap about a lady who kills her kid because she believes it to be a demon but you appear to be begging the question in that the child wasn't actually a demon AND in that a certain ethical standard is in place for such cases. How do you know this child wasn't a demon and how do you know that this particular case (regardless of whether or not the child was a demon) was a morally reprehensible act? If you can't answer these questions then what was the point of your post? To simply fill us in on the latest news?

"You beg the question of due process itself. What is due process and how is it justified and how is the mothers actions not due process anyway?"

If you want to know what "due process is" I suggest dictionary.com or wikipedia. If you don't believe due process is valid then you have no criticisms against the lady who took it upon herself to deem the child/demon worthy of death. Who do you believe is a legitimate authority in penal matters and why?

"Also, do demons deserve this "due process" that you speak of?"

Aaron, you seem to have entirely missed the point of my post... I was merely giving a hypothetical scenario in which the ladies actions are still wrong in a possible religious context. I agree with your question and second it: Do demons deserve this due process? If not then the lady may have been justified in killing the demon/child... how do you know?

say no to christ said...

Thanks again Aarron for thinking about the children hurt by religious beliefs. You rule!

say no to christ said...

Do demons deserve due process?? WTF?? LMAO

Anonymous said...

Say No To Christ,
Rule of debate: If you can't answer your opponent, laugh at him. This way people just assume you can but choose not to. Let me guess, you are some kid in your 20s who has had a little schooling, enough to think he knows it all and that everyone else is an idiot? Oops, I just described 90% of the people on this blog. Don't worry in a few years you will most likely mellow out and learn some humility the hard way... or else you will be one of the unfortunates who only grows more bitter and more narrow minded and next thing you know you are writing horrid books like the God Delusion and simply embarrassing yourself. I realize you will simply continue to scoff at me now; however, when start to get older and question whether it is really worth it to spend so much time hating religious people remember my advice.

angelsdepart said...

Anonymous, Some of us have good reasons to hate religious people
www.nomoredrunks.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Angelsdepart,
I knew someone would chime in with a tu quoque fallacy with a twist of hasty generalization.

angelsdepart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
angelsdepart said...

If you wanted to pin a fallacy on my statement the Red Herring Fallacy of Guilt by association would be more appropriate Frank.... I mean anonymous. Although my reasons are based on first hand experience. It is not possible to apply a fallacy to experience. I also never said all religious people. But that's what you get for taking shots in the dark.

Anonymous said...

First of all, I'm not Frank... guess that's what you get when you take shots in the dark. I'm just some dude who found this blog in the jungle of blogs.

This brings out an interesting point though. I happen to be in the field of psychology and many times in the past I have written on my opinion that blogs tend to polarize people and make them more neurotic. Therefore, rather than globalizing communities as some think, they will rather create more neurotic factions. This *may* support such a theory in that you immediately project any negative feedback to a particular antagonist or antagonistic group (i.e. if I take issue with you I must be Frank or I must be some religious wacko). Anyway, that may be a stretch but, then again, maybe I'm on to something.

Secondly, your exact comment was, "Some of us have good reasons to hate religious people."

Now, pretend I said "Buddhists are stupid" and then I cited a particular experience I had with a stupid Buddhist. Then you respond, "you're making a hasty generalization... just because you know a stupid Buddhist doesn't mean all Buddhists are stupid!" And then, imagine, if you will, that I respond, "Wait a minute! You are just taking shots in the dark. I never said ALL Buddhists are stupid."

Don't play word games with me, friend. I'm not that dumb. Either way, you can go ahead and scoff or reply however you want. I personally don't like the attitudes I see on such blogs and will take my leave now. I hope this blog and you my friend turn to more productive things with your time.

angelsdepart said...

Not just one experience Frank, many experiences, and not all Christians, just most (like you Frank)and mostly fundies. If you consider this a word game then I am sorry. It's obvious that you still have not read my blog, or you would understand! If you don't like the opinions expressed here then you have the right to leave, and are right in doing so. Oh yea, one more thing, I am not your friend.

Light_of_Dark said...

I believe that this woman should not have killed her daughter. Honestly, what possible action gave her the idea that her 6 year old was a demon? What, she didn't like RAP?! Truly pathetic. I hope that woman has fun burning in Hell. NO parent has the right to kill their child, because there are safe manners of exorcism. Whoever was crackpot enough to tell this woman that her child's head needed to be removed needs to rot in prison, in a torture chamber on the other side of the building. And if they don't already have a torture chamber in the prison, they need one. Zippty-zap goes the electric chair, beckoning them to step forward, one after the other, and become embraced by it's leather straps. Make note: God does not tell people to do such disgusting and vile things. Only a weak soldier demon would bother to whisper in the ears of a nobody and tell them to do so.

Aaron Kinney said...

Re: light_of_dark,

I hope that woman has fun burning in Hell.

Thats not a very nice thing to wish upon a person, even a murderer!

NO parent has the right to kill their child, because there are safe manners of exorcism.

What about Abraham?

God does not tell people to do such disgusting and vile things.

How do you know that?

Anonymous said...

Kyeimah is my daughter she had no demon in her her mother is a demon

Anonymous said...

This little girl definitely was not a demon, just had a sick twisted mother....I knew this little girl and she was such a sweetie! She just needed someone to love her, care for her, and show her what it was like to have a loving family instead of being beat on daily!