Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Prayer Challenge

Update: The post seems to have been removed. Looks like Satan prevailed, as usual.

Brian Flemming and the Blasphemy Challenge team are worried. Very worried, in fact. This is because some group of Christians have begun an organized prayer front in order to thwart the Blasphemy Challenge movement through divine intervention.

Needless to say, I am also alarmed. I myself took the Blasphemy Challenge not more than a month ago. If these Christians get God to take away my free DVD or somehow change the past so that I never even did the challenge, then all my Evil Atheist Conspiracy plans will be ruined!

Oh prayer, how I despise you!

Fortunately, I came up with a great idea. I decided to infiltrate the prayer team and sabotage their efforts. I posted a comment at their blog, and have reproduced said comment below for your convenience:

Wow, great idea guys! Those Blasphemy Challenge sinners wont know what hit them! Glory!

Okay, I’m going to synchronize my West Coast prayer team to pray simultaneously with your forces. We have youth groups organized from about twelve different California churches, so the numbers are definitely there. But there is one issue of concern that I need to address: during prayer, should one have their finger interlaced or non-interlaced?

Studies have shown that interlaced fingers during prayer are up to 33% more effective on a per-prayer ratio than having non-interlaced fingers. This includes interlacing one's own fingers (in solo prayer) as well as interlacing fingers with another (in a prayer circle). If we are going to prevail over this Blasphemy Challenge then that means that we need every bit of prayer effectiveness possible, for I feel that the forces of Satan are exceptionally strong here.

Quite frankly I'm a bit worried that your prayer team may not perform proper and consistent finger interlacing technique, so please make sure that you advise your prayer battalion accordingly.

In fact, I have decided to conduct a pre-prayer session on Thursday night, where I will pray to God that all of our prayer groups will, through divine providence, simultaneously interlace their fingers during the super-prayer offensive on Friday. I can only pray that God hears my pre-prayer clearly. Actually, I might have to do a pre-pre-prayer session to ensure that He does just that.

In My Prayers,

Aaron Kinney


My sabotage strategy is twofold. First, it is a little known secret that interlaced fingers are actually 33% less effective than the flat palm prayer method (also known as the karate chop prayer style)! This means that I am removing 33% of their prayer power by tricking them into praying with interlaced fingers!

And second, while the prayer team is conducting their offensive, I will simultaneously be praying to none other than Satan Himself! Yes that's right, every single atheist in the world is secretly a Satanist. What, didn't you know?

I will be asking Satan to instead divert the prayer team's energy into framing more ministers at the New Life Church!

If my strategy is successful, then the Blasphemy Challenge will continue unhindered. Keep an eye on it this weekend, and if the Blasphemy Challenge still exists come Saturday, then you know that my invoking of the Prince of Darkness prevailed against these wretched Christians and their feeble Jesus. The showdown has begun!

Hail Satan!

57 comments:

Anonymous said...

You goof. Now when praymageddon fails, they'll blame you, instead of wondering why Jesus didn't appear in flames to smite us.

Aaron Kinney said...

LOL aiabax, good point.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious Aaron. ROTF

Anonymous said...

OYG AARON!! You're pre-pre-pre prayer worked! The prayer offensive is now gone: http://living-in-grace.blogspot.com/

CONGRATS!

Krystalline Apostate said...

You know Aaron, that 33% of zero is still ZERO, right?
Of course you do.
Lovely zinger. I noted (via Pharyngula) that said post has been removed.
I wonder if the retail version of prayer is pray-er-away? (rim shot).

Bob said...

What timing!

Thanks again, Brian!

Aaron Kinney said...

Satan for the win!

Anonymous said...

This will help you all!

Daily Bible Verses - 2007

Aaron Kinney said...

hey, thanx :)

Ribs said...

Haha, very funny!

Frank Walton said...

Aaron, just to let you know you've aligned yourself with a known fascist group who want to get rid of Christians. Anyway, the Rational Response Squad have been forcing their way in churches.

Anonymous said...

very interresting, theres only one thing, you and your group is the only ones who care about such things no one really takes to heart what you say, the fact is i thought this was mature site, but i see now it is ran by a child, someone who has some grudge with christians for whatever reason, i will no longer write on this site for its direction is meaningless, and theres nothing to learn from. I am only 20 yrs old and I remember a time when i was like 9 or 10 yrs. old when I did and said the exact same shit as this aaron guy says. this is a real world with real problems and real people, some never think about another person as if they were in there shoes, no compassion what so ever, and it is true that you succeeded in your goal to influence such crap as you do, let me guess you only live once who gives a fuck, it is known that someone who speaks as you do really there problem is there self, so lets see if aaron can really make anyone liston to him, other then the same children that follow him. yes he might get a few comments here and there but really who wants to hear his cry out for help when he does it in such away that noone hears him???

and dont bother commenting me because i wont be back to this waste of time site.............

Anonymous said...

Good old impotent frank walton. Always good for a laugh.

Aaron Kinney said...

Frank Walton,

You dont seem to understand the situation here. I am NOT aligned with the Rational Response Squad. I only did their bidding to get a free DVD.

In actuality, I am aligned with Satan. I thought this most recent post made it abundantly clear.

And yes, I want to get rid of people like you. Specifically, I want to turn Christians like yourself to the allegiance of the Dark Lord by tempting you with free DVDs of the BEST MOVIE EVER MADE (The God Who Wasnt There)!!!

Just like how Satan tried to tempt Jesus, except this time it will work, because people like you are imperfect sinners. It already worked with Ted Haggard! We planted one of the free DVDs in his office, and now hes a meth-smoking homosexual.

And youre next Frank. Just you wait. Before you know it youll be habving gay sex and smoking meth with Peter H. Gilmore.

Anonymous said...

Yeah well I'm a christian and I smike weed and sometimes I say mean things to people, a christian is exactly that a sinner like everyone, the only difference is we know that we can't save ourselves, because what pure good can come out of anyone. I don't care is someone tempts me, or even if i fall into the temptation because I know god knows me and my weakness, I know that god knows what I am going to do before I do it, jesus knew to, and guess what, jesus loved and died for my sorry sinner ass anyway..
Any christian who says they don't do evil is lying, because from what god said all fall short of the glory, all man has fallen.
The truth is I don't believe god or jesus would ever send anyone to hell, well the hell you think anyway, I believe life is an experience, I believe our true nature is above good and evil; pleasure and pain, in this life we would know no good without evil and we would know no pleasure without pain..
The bible is symbolic, everyone knows that the flesh can be burned but the spirit can't be burned it can only be lost which is liken to the flesh being burned. The hell many people proclaim is only symbolic, the real hell which is also stated in the bible is separation from god, which is likened to the flesh being burned by a fire.
God gives free will to all peoples to choose what they want to do, his love is so divine because he doesn't force anyone to love him but allows all to experience life however they so choose to.
The god you so hate is yourself, because all is from the divine meaning all is god, god states in the bible "I said you are gods, now raise up and lead your people". Thats right the almighty calls us gods.
There is a great illusiion that has taken place and that is many people think they are sinners because of there bad deeds, that is a lie, we are sinners because we view everything as separate from ourselves, if we saw the unity in everything then we could not sin because we see everything as ourselves not as separate and unknown. Jesus spoke this truth by saying love everyone as you love yourself, for this sums up everything that god proclaims to his children.
There is proof in science that everyone is connected and everything is made from the same source which is energy.
You can sale yourself short to make satan to be real, satan is symbolic for separate, jesus stated that satan is the father of lies and there is no truth in him, when he says this he reveals that satans entire existence as an evil spiritual force is a lie, satan dwells in everyone who sees thereself as separate from there creation. This is also a great mystery because anyone can say well I am an indiviual, I am not the same as anyone eles, well that is true and the reason that is true because we all compare ourselves with different attachments or attractions, but who is anyone without there labels as a sister or a mother or an atheist or a christian or a banker or whatever else. Who are we without labels, we are the same energy source that dwells in this body for the experience of a life of boundaries.
Many say well thats just a belief, well thats true but it's a belief that makes since, its real love for anyone with real divine love would never erase his existence for it is understandable that we live in a decieving world where everyone wants to be right and everyone wants to hurt his brother for self gain, we forget that all the evil is there so we know what its like to have good and good times, if there is no evil then good would be what??
It is proven that science can only measure heat and light, they can not measure cold or darkness, this means that darkness and cold doesn't exist nor are they opposites of heat and light.
darkness is only the absents of light as is cold is the absents of heat, I know that is very hard to understand because we feel the cold and we see the darkness, well I don't understand what they mean but if anyone understands I would love to hear it.

Bob said...

"...I smike weed..."

Priceless.

Aaron Kinney said...

Heather,

Yeah well I'm a christian and I smike weed and sometimes I say mean things to people, a christian is exactly that a sinner like everyone, the only difference is we know that we can't save ourselves, because what pure good can come out of anyone.

smiking weed and saying mean things to people are not sins, last time I checked.

I know that god knows what I am going to do before I do it, jesus knew to, and guess what, jesus loved and died for my sorry sinner ass anyway..

These kind of false beliefs cant be good for your self esteem.

Any christian who says they don't do evil is lying, because from what god said all fall short of the glory, all man has fallen.

Wait, wasnt Jesus a man too? :/

God gives free will to all peoples to choose what they want to do, his love is so divine because he doesn't force anyone to love him but allows all to experience life however they so choose to.

Treatening someone with eternal seperation or hell or whatever you call it, if they dont "love" you, is in fact FORCE. So, actually, God does FORCE you to love him via a proverbial gun to your head.

The god you so hate is yourself,

I dont hate God. If he existed I would love him, because I would have no choice but to do so anyway. I cant love or hate something that doesnt exist, but I can point out its non-existence to all the deluded Christians.

Anyway, quit projecting. You hate yourself, not me. Youre the one who thinks that you are a worthless sinning ass.

There is proof in science that everyone is connected and everything is made from the same source which is energy.

Said energy is non-conscious and eternal. POOF there goes your God!

It is proven that science can only measure heat and light, they can not measure cold or darkness, this means that darkness and cold doesn't exist nor are they opposites of heat and light.

You know not what you speak of. Science can measure heat and light relative to cold and darkness. What is 100 degrees celsius anyway? Well, its 100 degrees warmer than absolute zero! And you dont get much colder than absolute zero! What is a photon anyway? Well its one photon of light more than absolute darkness! You dont get much darker than not being able to measure photons.

QED. You are totally ignorant of science, heat, cold, light, and darkness.

Anonymous said...

well I do know that is what i saw on the science channel, they explained it pretty well, I know I don't spell right but if i took the time I could it is the internet, really I am only 13 years old, I am still learning, many people say I have the mind of a 20 year old. Oh well it's just like that dude typed up above who cares.

Krystalline Apostate said...

heather:
I smike weed
Is that what you kids do w/it these days? Is that street patois for snorting it thru your ear, or what?

Anonymous said...

I'm an atheistI'm an atheist because I can't see this connection and purpose in life that those beleivers
in god always boast about.
All I see is blah, our awareness is meaningless because we have attractions and hopes that never are
forfilled.
Noone cares, someone just tell those christians; etc. that we don't care and really they don't
either. Noone knows me and I don't know you so don't expect to tell anyone who they are and
what they should believe.
All I do is think about me because I am me and not you, you are someone I don't know.
Stop telling me to think like you do, I don't know you, you don't relate to what I believe so
please go away, go to your side of the planet and stay there where I never have to meet you or
run into you, at the corner store you try and share your views, you slide into my group
it's very rude and I'd assume you'd get a clue but sadly you never do..
I'm mad now, I'm really angery because they just keep coming back, what can I do
I have to be cruel and let them know there not very bright, they never recieve this insight
that is spoken amongs there clubs, because a club collects that dollar and there church is
getten paid, them sneaky bastards persuade the idiots, they are the rulers of this world, they
are rich and praised, we know why this world is shity it is because they been running it
so please just get the fuck out of my life.
Your way isn't working, your way isn't wanted, your way isn't truth, your way
is an excuse, your weak and trapped and you put on a show so you won't have to face fear.
Go and be ye not worried about tomorrows troubles for todays problems are
surely a good amount for the time being.
Go and be free, be not bound by any worry for any fear is not of real interrest.
Do not follow the shadow of anothers interrests, they are of no use to you. Stand upon
your own feet not idoling no other. There is an answer but noone has it but me, but my answer is
of no use to another. sarah J.

Aaron Kinney said...

KA and teddy bear,

you go!!! :D

Delta said...

Actually, I might have to do a pre-pre-prayer session to ensure that He does just that

Haha, kick ass post AK =)

Krystalline Apostate said...

Aaron:
Tag, you're it!

Anonymous said...

Aaron,

I have a funny side-item to share:
Paul Manata's album including shots of himself with a shotgun and his heavily-tatt'd back. Unfortunately, they are just thumbnails, but I thought maybe you would enjoy having them.

Aaron Kinney said...

Anonymous,

Thanks for the link, but I beat you to the punch! I already wrote about Manata's lovely shotgun pic :)

Ka,

Oh shit, Im it!!! Engarde!!

Anonymous said...

Considering how quickly fried foods harden the arteries, does that mean the Colonel is a minion of satan? Always thought that glasses/goatee combination looked pretty infernal.

Mike Lee

Anonymous said...

You know not what you speak of. Science can measure heat and light relative to cold and darkness. What is 100 degrees celsius anyway? Well, its 100 degrees warmer than absolute zero! And you dont get much colder than absolute zero! What is a photon anyway? Well its one photon of light more than absolute darkness! You dont get much darker than not being able to measure photons.

Ummm, 100 celsius is 100 degrees warmer than 0 celsius...which is the point at which water freezes, and a LOT higher than absolute zero. You are thinking of 0 Kelvin. And in purely technical terms, there isn't any such thing as "cold." There is only a lot of heat or a little heat. "Cold" is not a scientific term.

QED. You are totally ignorant of science

So that makes two of you.

Come on, if atheists can't be depended on to be scientifically literate, what hope is there for the world?

Frank Walton Sucks! said...

Frank Walton atheism sucks atheismsucks.blogspot.com

(feel free to repost this info anywhere)

Anonymous said...

Frank Walton most likely wants to be Kelly. He probably just thinks he is a woman trapped in a man's body and is just jealous of her, that is the ONLY reason he has ever bothered with RRS. Frank Walton Stinks

=)

Anonymous said...

I've found a blashphemer if you want to try and save him; he's at:

www.whyihatejesus.blogspot.com/

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chí đình cung cấp thuê máy kiểm kho giá rẻ
chí đình cung cấp thuê máy kiểm kho tốt nhất
chí đình cung cấp cho thuê máy kiẻm kho
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Unknown said...

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Máy in hóa đơn giá rẻ không dấu
Máy in hóa đơn Epson
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Máy in hóa đơn nhiệt
Máy in hóa đơn k80
Máy in hóa đơn cho siêu thị
Máy in hóa đơn cho cửa hàng
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Unknown said...

Chidinh chuyên cung cấp các thiết bị tốt nhất thị trường :
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Máy chấm công chính hãng
Máy chấm công tốt nhất
Thiết bị máy chấm công
Địa chỉ mua máy chấm công
May cham cong
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Thiet bi may cham cong
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hoachidinh said...

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Unknown said...

Chí Đìnhchuyên cung cấp các thiết bị tốt nhất thị trường:
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giấy in nhiệt là gì
giấy in nhiệt 80mm
giấy in nhiệt k80 hà nội
giấy in nhiệt k80 giá rẻ
giấy in nhiệt tại hà nội
giấy cảm nhiệt là gì
giấy in hóa đơn k80
giấy in nhiệt giá rẻ
bán giấy in nhiệt tại hà nội
giấy in nhiệt k80 hà nội
giấy in nhiệt giá rẻ hà nội

Unknown said...

Chí Đìnhchuyên cung cấp các thiết bị tốt nhất thị trường:
giấy in nhiệt k80
giấy in nhiệt là gì
giấy in nhiệt 80mm
giấy in nhiệt k80 hà nội
giấy in nhiệt k80 giá rẻ
giấy in nhiệt tại hà nội
giấy cảm nhiệt là gì
giấy in hóa đơn k80
giấy in nhiệt giá rẻ
bán giấy in nhiệt tại hà nội
giấy in nhiệt k80 hà nội
giấy in nhiệt giá rẻ hà nội

Unknown said...

Chí Đìnhchuyên cung cấp các thiết bị tốt nhất thị trường:
giấy in nhiệt k80
giấy in nhiệt là gì
giấy in nhiệt 80mm
giấy in nhiệt k80 hà nội
giấy in nhiệt k80 giá rẻ
giấy in nhiệt tại hà nội
giấy cảm nhiệt là gì
giấy in hóa đơn k80
giấy in nhiệt giá rẻ
bán giấy in nhiệt tại hà nội
giấy in nhiệt k80 hà nội
giấy in nhiệt giá rẻ hà nội

Unknown said...

Chí Đình chuyên cung cấp thiết thiết bị công nghệ như:
giấy in nhiệt k80
giấy in nhiệt là gì
giấy in nhiệt 80mm
giấy in nhiệt k80 hà nội
giấy in nhiệt k80 giá rẻ
giấy in nhiệt tại hà nội
giấy cảm nhiệt là gì
giấy in hóa đơn k80
giấy in nhiệt giá rẻ
bán giấy in nhiệt tại hà nội
giấy in nhiệt k80 hà nội
giấy in nhiệt giá rẻ hà nội

hoachidinh said...


Chí Đình Chúng tôi đã không ngừng phát triển và cung cấp ra thị trường Việt Nam rất nhiều giải pháp và thiết bị liên quan đến các ngành như siêu thị, nhà sách, nhà thuốc, bệnh viện, ngân hàng, nhà máy, trường học...
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- In êm, không gây tiếng ồn, không làm khó chịu cho cả khách hàng và người sử dụng.
Máy In Hóa Đơn Dataprint KP-C9

Đối với máy in hóa đơn, bộ phận quan trọng nhất chính là đầu in nhiệt. Đầu in bị hư đồng nghĩa với việc mua một máy mới vì chi phí thay đầu in rất tốn kém và nhiều dòng máy không có đầu in riêng để thay thế. Vì thế bạn nên cân nhắc sử dụng giấy in nhiệt có chất lượng tốt một chút để tránh hại đầu in của máy in. KP-C9 với chế độ in nhiệt, đầu in Seiko(Japan). Đầu in chất lượng Nhật Bản giúp cho máy có chất lượng in tốt hơn, độ bền cao.
Máy In Hoá Đơn Bán Hàng Nexa POS80II (USB)

THÔNG SỐ KỸ THUẬT Máy in hoá đơn NEXA pos80II
+ Công nghệ in Nhiệt trực tiếp
+ Khổ giấy 80mm.
+ Hỗ trợ in font Unicode từ rom (Việt, Anh, Hoa…)
Máy In Hóa Đơn Nexa 085i

THÔNG SỐ KỸ THUẬT
máy in nhiet
Công nghệ in Truyền nhiệt trực tiếp
Tốc độ in 250mm/sec
Cắt giấy tự động Có
máy in hóa đơn
Máy In Hóa Đơn EPSON TM-T82
Máy In Hóa Đơn Receipt RP58E-U
Máy In Hóa Đơn Dataprint KP-C9F (Đen)
Máy In Hóa Đơn Dataprint KP-C9
Máy In Hoá Đơn Bán Hàng Nexa POS80II (USB)
Máy In Hóa Đơn Nexa 085i







Unknown said...

Công ty CPCN Chí đình chuyên về các thiết bị sản phẩm công nghệ ,trong đó có một số mặt hàng sau:

Máy in mã vạch Godex EZ 1100 Plus (SP bán chạy nhất miền bắc):
Máy in mã vạch Godex EZ 1100 Plus
In theo công nghệ in nhiệt trực tiếp hoặc in truyền nhiệt sử dụng ruy băng chuẩn thông dụng dài 300m.

Máy In Tem Samsung BIXOLON SLP- T400
Máy In Tem Samsung BIXOLON SLP- T400
Thông số kỹ thuật:
+ In trên giấy thường, polyeste.
+ Bộ vi xử lý 32 bit. (Chạy ổn định, sắp đặt dễ dàng).
+ Tốc độ in: 4 inches/giây
+ Độ phân giải: 203 dpi.
+ Bộ nhớ: 8 MB RAM, 4 MB Flash.Cổng kết nối USB và RS 232.

Máy In Mã Vạch Godex G500-U
Máy In Mã Vạch Godex G500-U

Godex International là một công ty kỹ thuật chuyên về các sản phẩm in ấn mã vạch thiết kế và sản xuất mà dẫn đầu ngành trong giá trị, loại hiệu suất cao. Godex có văn phòng tại Mỹ, châu Âu và Trung Quốc và các sản phẩm được phân phối trên toàn thế giới.

Godex đã tạo ra thành công và kiếm được một khách hàng trung thành của hàng ngàn khách hàng bằng cách cung cấp các sản phẩm rất phải chăng được thiết kế rất tốt và được hỗ trợ bởi một công ty và mạng lưới đối tác đại lý bán lẻ là 100% dành riêng cho sự hài lòng của khách hàng dài hạn

Máy In Mã Vạch Datamax-Oneil E4204 Max III
Máy In Mã Vạch Datamax-Oneil E4204 Max III
Máy in mã vạch Datamax-Oneil E4204 là dòng sản phẩm máy in mã vạch để bàn mới của Hãng Datamax – O’Neil, được thiết kế để đáp ứng và tiết kiệm chi phí trong các ứng dụng và hầu hết các ngành công nghiệp.
Ứng dụng : Đây là loại máy in với tốc độ cao chuyên dùng cho các shop thời trang , cửa hàng thuốc, thực phẩm sạch,quán ăn, quán cafe, siêu thị mini, cửa hàng tạp hóa ....

Máy In Mã Vạch Zebra ZT230
Máy in mã vạch Zebra ZT230
Zebra Technologies là một công ty đại chúng có trụ sở tại Lincolnshire, Illinois , Mỹ, sản xuất và bán đánh dấu, theo dõi và in ấn máy tính công nghệ. Sản phẩm của nó bao gồm nhiệt mã vạch nhãn và nhận máy in, RFID thông minh máy in nhãn / bộ giải mã / cố định và cầm tay độc giả / ăng ten, và thẻ và máy in kiosk được sử dụng để ghi nhãn mã vạch, nhận dạng cá nhân và in ấn đặc sản chủ yếu trong chuỗi cung ứng sản xuất, bán lẻ, nước và y tế ngành. Trong năm 2013, công ty đã đạt doanh số 1038000000 $ và có giá trị vốn hóa thị trường của $ 3,6 tỷ USD.
In với tốc độ cao chuyên dùng cho các nhà máy sản xuất, kho xưởng, các siêu thị lớn…
Máy In Mã Vạch SBARCO T4E
Máy In Mã Vạch SBARCO T4E
Công nghệ USA - Taiwan
+ Khả năng in In truyền nhiệt qua Ribon/ Trực tiếp
+ Độ phân giải 203 dpi
+ Tốc độ in 4 inches/giây
+ Flash 8 MB
+ Ram 4 MB
Máy in tem mã vạch Hà Nội
Máy in tem mã vạch giá rẻ Hà Nội
Bán máy in tem mã vạch
Máy in tem nhãn
Bán máy in mã vạch






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