Monday, January 14, 2008

Prayer-Powered Permanent Purge of Paedophile Priests

The task? To rid the Catholic Church of pedophiles.

The weapon? Perpetual prayer.

Pope Benedict XVI has instructed Roman Catholics to pray “in perpetuity” to cleanse the Church of paedophile clergy. All dioceses, parishes, monasteries, convents and seminaries will be expected to organise continuous daily prayers to express penitence and to purify the clergy.


Oh yes, nothing works like prayer! Vatican officials reportedly expect to see their power of failure taken to new heights.

Vatican watchers said that there was no known precedent for global prayer on a specific issue of this kind. There are about one billion Roman Catholics worldwide.


Damn, if only they had done this for world war, disease, sin, and atheists, things would have been so much better! I fully expect this perpetual prayer plan to succeed, and quickly. Following this prayer-powered permanent purge of paedophile priests, I expect the Pope to apply it to all other areas of social ill, with equal success.

2 comments:

HemlockMan said...

Catholics. One billion morons.

olly said...

Further proof that the Catholic Church is a PR Monster.

War, Famine, Disease? Those are just part and parcel of God being unhappy with "Secular Humanism" or whatever other buzzword us Heathens can generate... they wouldn't want to pray it away because the church puts itself forward as a problem solver for the worlds problems... "Trust in God and you'll do fine in this world" and all that bullshit. If there were no problems in this world, people would start to realize that they don't need God, since they are already happy!

But when it comes to something that is damaging to their image, oh man, you better watch out!

-olly