Friday, August 11, 2006

Operation: Pray Dawson's Way to 20/20 Vision

In my previous blog post a commenter by the name of Tawanda chimed in to talk about her belief in Jesus Christ. Tawanda is a nice person. Our (brief) exchange was cordial. However, it felt a bit lacking in substance. Tawanda seemed unable to explain why she believed in the Christian God. What she certainly was able to do, however, was state in a dozen different ways simply that she did believe in God. The sad part is that I don't think she understands the difference between describing what she believes versus why she believes it. And I don't think she ever really thought about why she believes in Jesus either:

Aaron,

I believe in God because He is the one, true living God. God is the creator of everything and I thank God He created me.

I believe in God because He has shown me Himself in the Bible and I believe everything that precious book contains.

I believe in God because He has healed me.


At least that "healed me" bit was close to a reason why. So I gave her some follow up questions and observations, but Tawanda never came back to answer them (at least not yet).

But then things got a lot more interesting. A man whom I hold in high regard, Dawson Bethrick (aka Bahnsen Burner) of Incinerating Presuppositionalism, decided that it was time to really put the ball in Tawanda's court. I am going to re-post Dawson's comment in it's entirety. Observe the brilliance:

Bahnsen Burner said...

Aaron: "Why do you believe in God?"

Tawanda: "I believe in God because He is the one, true living God. God is the creator of everything and I thank God He created me."

Now there's a classic non-answer there. Nothing in Tawanda's response explains how she acquired awareness of something that is said to be invisible, immaterial, infinite and everpresent. She gives no instruction on how one can distinguish between what she calls "God" and what she may merely be imagining. What she describes is essentially a mood which she has personified and projected into an imaginary realm which exists behind the actual realm which we perceive.

Tawanda says: "When I call upon God, He always answers. I talk to Him and He talks back to me. God says that if I ask of Him anything in Jesus' name, He will hear and answer me."

Indeed, many passages from the gospels put some hefty promises into Jesus' mouth. Consider John 14:14, which states:

If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.

Here we have a statement in the bible which couldn't be more explicit and clearly stated. Also, keep in mind that the gospels attribute many healings to Jesus involving blind persons receiving their sight back.

Now, I am not blind, but it seems that every year my eyes need stronger prescription glasses. Prayer never worked for me, but apparently Tawanda has a better relationship with Jesus-god such that it answers her every prayer. So perhaps Tawanda would ask Jesus to restore my vision to 20/20. Think of the amazing coversion this would bring: that snarling, sabertoothed atheist Dawson Bethrick abandons his evil atheist worldview and humbles himself before the throne of Christ. It would send shockwaves throughout 7 or 8 internet blogs for at least a couple days. Apologists would quickly forget about Antony Flew's reconsideration of his position (well, perhaps they already have) for now they'd have something stronger than merely stepping away from strong atheism.

So, what do you say, Tawanda? I'm game. Want to give it a whirl? I'll even close my eyes and bow my head as you say the prayer. Just let me know when I can expect to throw out my eyeglasses once and for all.

Looking forward to the spiritual alternative to Lasik surgery. Can't wait!

Regards,
Dawson


Amen, brother Dawson. Amen.

Now we get to the real point of this post. This post is a prayer request for all theists and afterlife believers to give Dawson Bethrick 20/20 vision! Whether a Christian, Muslim, Satanist, Hindu, or whatever other superstition you believe in, you are cordially invited to pray to, converse with, bargain with, sell your soul to, or by any other means necessary get your invisible sky fairy to magically grant Dawson Bethrick the 20/20 vision that he is so patiently requesting.

Don't let the derogatory references to your deity fool you; I am dead serious here. This is the perfect opportunity to win a convert for your religion of choice! Dawson Bethrick has stated that he is even willing to close his eyes and bow his head to increase the prayer's effectiveness. It's a small price to pay for 20/20 vision! All you need to do as the messenger of God is to set up an appointment with Dawson, and he will surely give the head bow and eyelid shutter at the requested moment.

And if Dawson's vision really does change to 20/20 because of your religious intervention, I have a good hunch that he will convert to your religion. I know I will! You hear that, theists? If Dawson Bethrick confirms with me that his vision has been miraculously enhanced to 20/20 because of your prayer or other negotiation with your God, then I, Aaron Kinney, will convert to your religion on the spot.

This is a grand opportunity for theists everywhere! Convert two extremely atheistic souls, and destroy two atheist blogs with one successful prayer request! It's a fucking bargain. Our souls are for sale at discount, theists. Can you cough up the spiritual dough?

16 comments:

Drunken Tune said...

I'd love to join in, if you don't mind me saying so, Aaron. This is a wonderful chance to see god in action. If Dawson Bethrick gets his eyesight restored through prayer, then perhaps my eyesight may be healed as well! Since surgery on just one eye can run into the thousands of dollars, could have numerous complications, and could have weeks of recovery time, it would be in both of our financial interests to have our vision miraculously fixed by any theist's god. It would be practically idiotic for me to remain an atheist with such evidence provided. In fact, if Dawson's vision is restored, then I'd be a very happy man. Finally, after years of requesting proof, it would be granted to such a nonbeliever as Dawson Bethrick. Such proof of a miracle could instantly turn me into a believer. The only problem that any theist could encounter would be proving that it was their god that did any of the healing, and not another's god. But that’s just being silly.

Thus, if Dawson's eyes are healed, I shall follow the faith of whichever person's religion that can prove that it was their god that helped Dawson. I’m sure it wouldn’t be too hard to do, now would it? There's three strong atheists willing to give up their lives in the service of your god. Three for the price of a simple prayer! Imagine the souls that could be saved!

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled across your blog, and I doubt I'll return, but let me say one thing. It's pretty easy to "debate" random bloggers and even-more-random people-who-comment-on-blogs-when-they-really-have-better-things-to-do (like myself). I heard a stat on the radio today - there are 175,000 new blogs created every day, and over 16 million new postings. We're not talking about Nobel Laureates, here. Try interacting with more serious proponents of the afterlife (oh, let's try Augustine, Bonhoeffer, J.I. Packer, and, I don't know, maybe Jesus himself? while you're at it, maybe Plato or Lao Tze, too), and then maybe I'll take your blog more seriously myself.

another anonymous blog visitor said...

Augustine was a fucktard.

varkam said...

Augustine was a fucktard

LOL! I don't think I could have put it any better myself.

Uh-oh, Aaron, looks like you upset someone. He not only insults your writing ability and relevance, but also your philosophy on the afterlife. Besides, can you even interact with any of these folks? Last time I checked, Jesus was dead.

Anyway, I'd be happy to throw my hat in the ring, as well. If Dawson has his eyesight restored, thne I know there is hope for me as well. I will renounce my atheism and join up with whoever is the first to restore Dawson's eyesight with the power of prayer.

Come on, theists! That's three hardcore, evil, blood drinking atheists you can save for the price of one!

Francois Tremblay said...

Please do not pray. It was proven that prayer makes people worse. Probably because the god that Christians pray to is actually a disgusting evil demon.

cay said...

When students often ask me why I don't think we are the "most evolved" animals on Earth, I often cite our need to wear glasses/contacts. Over 50% of the US population needs corrective lenses due to our very unnatural use of our eyes for watching TV/computer screens and reading books. Also, let's not forget the poor "design" of the human eyeball, with our light receptors beneath layers of tissue, with a blind spot to boot!

Bahnsen Burner said...

How disappointing! No Christian has commented to indicate a commitment to pray for my ailing eyesight! This morning I thought my eyes were actually getting better, but then I tried to look at the subtitles on the TV 12 feet away and they were all a-blurr. Today I was going through some old junk and found two old pairs of glasses, probably from the early '90's (ugly ol' things they were!). I don't know why I keep things like that as I don't think I'll ever be able to use them again - my vision just gets worse and worse! And not one Christian is motivated by the love of his god to say a prayer for my eyes? Not one? Either they don't want me healed, or they don't want to give their god another chance to fail. Hmmm.. That couldn't be it!

Regards,
Dawson

olly said...

anonymous -- I just stumbled across your blog, and I doubt I'll return, but let me say one thing. It's pretty easy to "debate" random bloggers and even-more-random people-who-comment-on-blogs-when-they-really-have-better-things-to-do (like myself). I heard a stat on the radio today - there are 175,000 new blogs created every day, and over 16 million new postings. We're not talking about Nobel Laureates, here. Try interacting with more serious proponents of the afterlife (oh, let's try Augustine, Bonhoeffer, J.I. Packer, and, I don't know, maybe Jesus himself? while you're at it, maybe Plato or Lao Tze, too), and then maybe I'll take your blog more seriously myself.

Ok, did you actually take the time to read any of Aaron's prior posts? He has done quite a bit off what you are talking about. He's not just blogging into thin air here jackass, maybe instead of commenting without reading, you ought to take a look at what has been written here.

But of course, that's probably why you left an anonymous comment... because it's too easy to leave derogatory crap when no one can respond to you directly: maybe you should come out of your anonymous hole and actually make some arguments.

-olly

Krystalline Apostate said...

olly:
Anonymous said - "while you're at it, maybe Plato or Lao Tze, too"
Anyone familiar w/Taoism (or who has read the Tao Te Ching) could pretty much dispatch that w/o effort - Lao Shi (Lao Tzu) didn't even broach the subject.

streetapologist said...

Dawson,

I have been praying for you.

Bahnsen Burner said...

Hello SA, haven't seen you around for quite a while.

Well, I just tried reading without my glasses. No dice! I'm still pretty useless without my corrective lenses.

Any idea when the magic cure is going to kick in? I have a busy weekend planned and I want to know when I can finally toss my glasses once and for all.

Here's looking to 20/20 vision... if not better!

Regards,
Dawson

streetapologist said...

Dawson,

I said "I am praying for you" but I didn't tell you what I am praying.

I haven't been around for awhile, family, finishing a degree, work etc,etc.

In all seriousness could you or Aaron tell me what the deal is with all the false blogs, fictious bloggers etc.?

Bahnsen Burner said...

streetapologist: "I said "I am praying for you" but I didn't tell you what I am praying."

So, what specifically is streetapologist praying? The point of the post was to invite believers to pray that their god restores my eyesight back to 20/20 vision. Here streetapologist says he will pray for me, but he resists divulging what specifically he will pray. As I stated above, "they don't want to give their god another chance to fail."

If streetapologist is praying something else, I'd like to know what it is so that we can see if it "comes to pass." But perhaps he prefers a game of cat and mouse?

At any rate, it's been two weeks as of today (Friday Aug. 25) since Aaron posted his blog on this topic, and the magic cure still has yet to take effect.

But I'm not giving up hope yet. With all the believers out there insisting that their god-belief is true, and the promises about the efficacy of prayer that their holy book puts into Jesus' mouth, then by all means, it should just be a matter of time now, right?

I'm standing by. The trash bin is ready to receive all my corrective lenses.

Regards,
Dawson

Anonymous said...

First I would like to say that for the first 17 yrs of my life I was in volved with the church. I was kicked out of my house by my dad and step mom because I refused to go to service on a wednesday night. It was that moment in my life when I realised that the idea of god was beeing used in an attempted to control me. Sence then I have done 4 yrs in the U.S.M.C., and let me tell you that if their is a god he went out to lunch, and I dont think he's comming back.
I personaly have a deep loathing for any religion that preaches that their god is better than any outher god without having any physcal evidence that their god even a real physcal or metaphycal beeing. And when I say evidence I mean somthing that cannot be controdicted or flat out proven wrong by science or someone elses religion.
I do have to say that I do belive in the moral and ethical teaching of a religion as long as it teaches you to respect the belifes of thoes around you ( I'm still looking for that religion )

Anonymous said...

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Abhishek Kataria said...

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